Many people feel a lack of connection to their body, or dislike what they see when they look in the mirror. In my practice, I help people feel more connected to their bodies, and more comfortable living in them. Here’s how I do that.

• I have decades of experience (in many different jobs) working with and for folks whose bodies or identities fall outside preconceived societal “norms”: people with disabilities, trans folks, people of size, people of color, queer people, folks with chronic or life-threatening diseases. I’m comfortable around any and all of those people, and in many cases prefer their company.
• I’m pro-body, regardless of shape, size, gender, disability, skin color or sexual orientation, and I really want you to feel as comfortable in your body as possible.
• I make no assumptions about who you are, what you are capable of, or how you live your life, based on appearance.
• A lot of the work I do involves integrating body and mind, self and self-image, self-image and appearance.
• In conjunction with massage, I coach clients through breathing, relaxation, and visualizations, helping you to learn or re-learn just how special your body really is.
• I use full-body touch to help connect disparate body parts, integrating the whole body, helping the body remember itself.
• Sometimes I use energy work, clearing energy blockages and helping you to feel more complete.

 

• I provide a safe, welcoming, comfortable space.
• Confidentiality is key. I don’t share any information about my clients without express permission.
• I will call you whatever name you’d like, and I’m very careful about using preferred pronouns.
• During a session, I help my bodywork clients get as comfortable as possible.
• I work in a comfy warm studio (with a table warmer!) and soothing music.
• I use draping (covering with sheet or blanket), and you undress to your comfort level. You can keep some or all of your clothes on, and if you ask me to avoid touching a part of your body, I’ll do so.
• I’m very respectful of clients’ bodies – asking permission & checking in frequently.
• I follow my clients’ wishes – I take my lead from you as I work to facilitate healing. You’re in charge.

 

• Clients come to me for touch they aren’t getting elsewhere, especially in areas that others may be reluctant to touch. For example, I have done safe, gentle, effective pectoral massage on women and on trans men. With people of size, I’ve worked on deep muscles in their abdominal and gluteal regions (psoas, quadratus lumborum, piriformis muscles). I work in and around skin folds, which often don't get much touch.
• When working on tense or injured body parts, I use gentle warming strokes to help prepare an area to receive massage, and I work from the “outside in” (starting by loosening the general area, and slowly moving inward) toward the exact spot(s) of tension.
• I encourage deep breathing to help increase oxygen flow to the area, and to reduce pain.
• Gentle, strong strokes are used to help relax and loosen the muscle fibers and the tissue around them; strong, persistent strokes then target specific areas of tension.
• Often, when experiencing chronic pain, we hold that area tightly, using it less often. Though rooted in a protective impulse, this can sometimes cause loss of movement and increase pain and tightness. Stretches and range-of-motion exercises facilitate movement and re-build muscle memory  and help “remind” the body of proper movement and positioning.
• I recommend gentle stretches that can be done a few times a day at your desk. I may also offer other recommendations based on such things as sleeping habits. I will never shame you but I might point out some things you could do to ease tension in your body.
• I want you to leave feeling more comfortable and complete than when you walked in.

 

How often do you receive caring, platonic touch? 
Platonic, physical connection between two people – light affection expressed through simple touch – is becoming scarcer. We accomplish much of what we need to survive as humans with a few clicks on our electronic devices: send emails or texts, make phone calls, order food, buy things, find a place to live. Even when there is human connection involved (a movie with a friend, apartment-hunting with your partner, dinner with your family), often there’s not a lot of touching that happens as a part of these actions. But touch is pretty powerful.
 
Most people spend very little time touching one another. There’s really no social context for any extended session of touch other than sex – often fast and short, lacking any long, relaxing, pressure-free exchange of touch. It seems that platonic touch is almost taboo in American culture today, especially between men. Scientists have written on the importance of touch, and say we live in a touch-starved society.
 
One of the goals of my massage practice is to provide a safe space for people to receive touch, without any agenda beyond their own well-being. When I ask clients if they receive regular touch from friends or partners, the answer is usually, “Not really”, and sometimes “Yes, but only when we’re making love.” Many of my clients (like most of us) are unaccustomed to receiving regular platonic touch. They spend the first part of their massage remembering to relax, as I coach them on breathing deeply and sinking back into their body. Often people tell me things like, “I didn’t realize how tense I was until you started massaging me,” or simply “You helped me feel good about my body again.” The smiles I see after working with clients are the same centered, grounded, satisfied smiles of people who have had a good meal or restful sleep.
 
Regular touch is literally vital for us. So why not go get some?!

Come back next week for the next installment in this series, about the importance of regular touch in improving body image. Many people feel a lack of connection to their body, or dislike what they see when they look in the mirror. I use touch to help people feel more connected to their bodies, and more comfortable living in them, and I’ll share more about how I do that.