How often do you receive caring, platonic touch? 
Platonic, physical connection between two people – light affection expressed through simple touch – is becoming scarcer. We accomplish much of what we need to survive as humans with a few clicks on our electronic devices: send emails or texts, make phone calls, order food, buy things, find a place to live. Even when there is human connection involved (a movie with a friend, apartment-hunting with your partner, dinner with your family), often there’s not a lot of touching that happens as a part of these actions. But touch is pretty powerful.
 
Most people spend very little time touching one another. There’s really no social context for any extended session of touch other than sex – often fast and short, lacking any long, relaxing, pressure-free exchange of touch. It seems that platonic touch is almost taboo in American culture today, especially between men. Scientists have written on the importance of touch, and say we live in a touch-starved society.
 
One of the goals of my massage practice is to provide a safe space for people to receive touch, without any agenda beyond their own well-being. When I ask clients if they receive regular touch from friends or partners, the answer is usually, “Not really”, and sometimes “Yes, but only when we’re making love.” Many of my clients (like most of us) are unaccustomed to receiving regular platonic touch. They spend the first part of their massage remembering to relax, as I coach them on breathing deeply and sinking back into their body. Often people tell me things like, “I didn’t realize how tense I was until you started massaging me,” or simply “You helped me feel good about my body again.” The smiles I see after working with clients are the same centered, grounded, satisfied smiles of people who have had a good meal or restful sleep.
 
Regular touch is literally vital for us. So why not go get some?!

Come back next week for the next installment in this series, about the importance of regular touch in improving body image. Many people feel a lack of connection to their body, or dislike what they see when they look in the mirror. I use touch to help people feel more connected to their bodies, and more comfortable living in them, and I’ll share more about how I do that.

​Check back next week for a new blog post on the importance of touch. In the meantime, here's a quick reminder that I'm offering a special through Sunday, July 9! Treat yourself to a relaxing massage after all the amazing activity of Pride week. 60-minute massage is only $70 (30% discount); 90-minute massage is $90! Book now using the button at the right, or use the CONTACT page on this site.

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​So it’s Pride Season, in the midst of one of the most tumultuous years the US has seen in a while. Pride is a wonderful time for celebration (and protest!) but it can bring up a lot of buried feelings of rejection and isolation, highlighting the painful disparities that continue.
 
There’s some crazy stuff happening, and not just in politics. People are being fat-shamed. Powerful women are not being taken seriously. Trans people are getting mugged and worse. Some folks are up in arms about adding a black and a brown stripe to the iconic rainbow flag. Racism is on the rise. My friends with disabilities report an increase in verbal or physical attacks against them. And many people are hurting, not just for themselves, but for their friends and families, their community, their country, and the planet. If you feel overwhelmed, you’re certainly not alone.

What’s the solution? Obviously showing support, sticking up for each other, and activism and social justice. But beyond that, just as important, is self-care. What can you do for yourself on a daily basis? Here are some suggestions:

• Ask for help.
• Take more walks.
• Spend 4 hours a week in nature (even a city park!).
• Get off the computer and spend time with friends.
• Challenge yourself with a group activity, maybe something new: yoga, dance, games, crafts.
• Get creative: draw, write, cook, sing, play.
• Start a journal – write every day.
• Call a friend from away.
• Lower your drug and alcohol intake – even just temporarily.
• Drink more water – dehydration affects your mood and your physical well-being.
• Challenge yourself to eat at least 4 healthy home-cooked meals a week.
• Take a nice long bath.
• Go dancing.
• Stretch every day. Gentle simple stretches remind you of your body.
• Masturbate.
• Ask for hugs from friends.
• Rub your body. Massage your feet, your shoulders, your arms and legs.
• Get backrubs.
• Get a massage or several.
• Put down the computer and read a good book instead.
• Tell yourself you’re doing just fine.
• Hug yourself.
• Love yourself.