This is the third in a series of posts about my practice. The first two were about how I can help you feel more comfortable in your body, and what to expect from a session with me. I’m going to finish by sharing some of the diverse experiences I’ve had around gender, sexual orientation, race, and disability. I think it helps, when choosing to work with a therapist, to know a bit about background and why they see the world the way they do.
 
I’m a gay man in my early 50’s. I grew up in New England, lived in Boston for years, and came to San Francisco in 2010. Conventional gender roles weren’t really a thing in my family. Growing up, my mom wore jeans and a man’s shirt, and loved gardening, working with tools, mowing the lawn, repairing things around the house, and sports. My father was a fastidious dresser who preferred fine foods, fine clothes, ballet, opera, and music. As children, my sister liked sports and cowboys, while I enjoyed cooking, theater, and music. As a result, I’m pretty comfortable around all sorts of different gender expressions.
 
My family worked in mental health. My father was a psychiatrist, my mother, an occupational therapist, and my sister, a social worker. I spent a lot of time working in the arts, putting myself through art school while working as an event planner for the largest conference for people with disabilities on the East Coast. During that time, I worked closely with a team of people with all sorts of disabilities, learning first-hand about the kinds of oppression they were fighting. Later, I had a career in gay men’s health, working not only with gay men but with transgender people as well. I’ve worked with people in recovery from drugs and alcohol, and coached community members in helping their peers navigate the health care system in inner cities and rural areas. I’ve worked closely with Black, Latinx, and Asian communities.
 
My first experience with massage was through the Body Electric School. While I found this work fulfilling, I wanted to expand further, to learn anatomy, physiology, and a wider array of techniques and modalities. My goal as a massage therapist is to help people lead richer lives while feeling more at home in their own bodies, addressing the whole person, body and mind, in order to help them achieve the balance they desire. 
 
For more information, check out my bio page, which includes a list of the various modalities and techniques I’ve received training in.

Many people feel a lack of connection to their body, or dislike what they see when they look in the mirror. In my practice, I help people feel more connected to their bodies, and more comfortable living in them. Here’s how I do that.

• I have decades of experience (in many different jobs) working with and for folks whose bodies or identities fall outside preconceived societal “norms”: people with disabilities, trans folks, people of size, people of color, queer people, folks with chronic or life-threatening diseases. I’m comfortable around any and all of those people, and in many cases prefer their company.
• I’m pro-body, regardless of shape, size, gender, disability, skin color or sexual orientation, and I really want you to feel as comfortable in your body as possible.
• I make no assumptions about who you are, what you are capable of, or how you live your life, based on appearance.
• A lot of the work I do involves integrating body and mind, self and self-image, self-image and appearance.
• In conjunction with massage, I coach clients through breathing, relaxation, and visualizations, helping you to learn or re-learn just how special your body really is.
• I use full-body touch to help connect disparate body parts, integrating the whole body, helping the body remember itself.
• Sometimes I use energy work, clearing energy blockages and helping you to feel more complete.

 

• I provide a safe, welcoming, comfortable space.
• Confidentiality is key. I don’t share any information about my clients without express permission.
• I will call you whatever name you’d like, and I’m very careful about using preferred pronouns.
• During a session, I help my bodywork clients get as comfortable as possible.
• I work in a comfy warm studio (with a table warmer!) and soothing music.
• I use draping (covering with sheet or blanket), and you undress to your comfort level. You can keep some or all of your clothes on, and if you ask me to avoid touching a part of your body, I’ll do so.
• I’m very respectful of clients’ bodies – asking permission & checking in frequently.
• I follow my clients’ wishes – I take my lead from you as I work to facilitate healing. You’re in charge.

 

• Clients come to me for touch they aren’t getting elsewhere, especially in areas that others may be reluctant to touch. For example, I have done safe, gentle, effective pectoral massage on women and on trans men. With people of size, I’ve worked on deep muscles in their abdominal and gluteal regions (psoas, quadratus lumborum, piriformis muscles). I work in and around skin folds, which often don't get much touch.
• When working on tense or injured body parts, I use gentle warming strokes to help prepare an area to receive massage, and I work from the “outside in” (starting by loosening the general area, and slowly moving inward) toward the exact spot(s) of tension.
• I encourage deep breathing to help increase oxygen flow to the area, and to reduce pain.
• Gentle, strong strokes are used to help relax and loosen the muscle fibers and the tissue around them; strong, persistent strokes then target specific areas of tension.
• Often, when experiencing chronic pain, we hold that area tightly, using it less often. Though rooted in a protective impulse, this can sometimes cause loss of movement and increase pain and tightness. Stretches and range-of-motion exercises facilitate movement and re-build muscle memory  and help “remind” the body of proper movement and positioning.
• I recommend gentle stretches that can be done a few times a day at your desk. I may also offer other recommendations based on such things as sleeping habits. I will never shame you but I might point out some things you could do to ease tension in your body.
• I want you to leave feeling more comfortable and complete than when you walked in.